In this first episode of our two part series on yoga and addiction, we sit down with Noelle, a trauma informed yoga teacher who leads Recovery Yoga in Iowa City. Her work brings movement, breath, and community into addiction treatment settings, creating a space where people can reconnect with their bodies and experience healing without judgment.

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the student hosts, guests, and contributors, and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the University of Iowa or the College of Public Health.

Lauren Lavin:

Hello everybody, and welcome back to Plugged Into Public Health. My name is Lauren Lavin, and today we’re going to begin a two-part conversation on yoga, addiction, and the role that movement, breath, and community can play in healing. Our guest is Noelle, a trauma-informed yoga teacher who leads Recovery Yoga here in Iowa City on Tuesday nights. And I’ll post all the information for that class in the show notes. So if you listen to this episode and are interested in that resource, all the details for that will be in the show notes. I actually had the privilege of attending her Tuesday night class, and it was one of the most inclusive, grounded spaces I’ve ever stepped into. The room, the people, the practice, all of it reminded me why yoga matters so far beyond the studio walls. As someone who’s actually taught yoga for nine years, I’m not sure if you knew that about me, but this episode really struck a chord.

The community Noelle has built reflects the heart of yoga, which is really connection. Also, her voice alone could put anyone into a meditative state in the best way, and hearing her speak about her work brings both clarity and quiet strength. In this first episode, you will hear how her path unfolded, how she came to teach in recovery settings, and why yoga can be a powerful companion in addiction treatment. Next week, in part two, we will continue this conversation and explore the deeper intersections between hot trauma, healing, and long-term recovery. So let’s get plugged into public health. Plugged Into Public Health is produced and edited by students of the University of Iowa College of Public Health. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the student hosts, guests, and contributors. They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the University of Iowa or the College of Public Health.

Well, thank you, Noelle, for joining me today. Can you start by telling us a little bit about yourself and how you first found yoga?

Noelle:

Sure. So my name is Noelle and I actually grew up here in Iowa City. I love Iowa City. And then after college … So it’s a bit of a long story.

Lauren Lavin:

Did you go to the University of Iowa?

Noelle:

I did not. Okay. I went to a small college, Waldorf College, which I believe is called Waldorf University now. It’s a little liberal arts college, Forest City, Iowa. And after college, so this is a bit of a long story, but I’ll try to sum it up, I had spent a semester interning in New York City and then came back to finish a semester of school and had a job offer for my internship in New York City. And I was going to start, first start September 2001. And then the date got pushed back because I was having some struggles finding affordable housing in New York City. Imagine that. And so the place that I had a job offer was a block from the Trade Center. So my degree was in communications and public relations with an emphasis in radio promotion. So I was interning at a PR publicity firm for bands and then their building was completely destroyed after September 11th.

So I was going through a lot of just reflection on what am I going to do? Do I really have the job that I didn’t start yet? And the start date got pushed back. I flew out there January 2002 and they were like, “We’d still love to have you on board.” They relocated to the financial district and publicist there actually took me out for dinner and kind of told me, “Noelle, just think about a few things. The music industry’s changing a lot.” Because at that time, things were just so different and it was still like publicity was still very dependent on humans. And she was just a really wise woman. And I really took that to heart. And also I was already starting to feel… It was so much fun. I loved going to shows and this is completely intertwined to addiction because going to shows, meeting bands, there’s a lot of drugs and alcohol within the music industry.

And at that time, I was a straight edge punk rock girl. So it was kind of respected in the music scene if you were just like, I’m straight edge. And people wouldn’t offer you anything. So after she took me out for dinner, it just was like, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I graduated and had this plan and I was really excited and I love New York City and I loved the energy. And so that was kind of a, I mean, it was a hard time for me and I moved back. I was living with my parents here in Iowa City and started to work for my dad a little bit, his veterinary clinic and just thinking about things that I love and I’m passionate about. So I loved music. I always loved just movement and dance and so thinking do I go back to school, all these different things.

And that’s somewhat what led me to yoga also. Although first, again, it was a little more like dance or maybe [inaudible 00:04:53]. And then I actually… I mean, this is kind of embarrassing to admit, but before ever going to a yoga class, I just went to a weekend teacher training in Minnesota. So one of my good college friends lived in Minnesota and I was like, “This is amazing.” And it was kind of the start of understanding like mind, body connection and I especially loved just the end relaxation and slowing down and noticing and breathing. And I was like, I think that I’m onto something here. I just connected immediately. So that’s somewhat where things started. And then after that teacher training in Iowa City, I started working for rec services, which I know now, later in life I am, and I know you also teach a yoga class for rec services.

And through that, one day at the field house, I was teaching a private lesson to a diver on the swimming and diving team and the associate head men’s basketball coach said, “Do either of you know a yoga instructor?” I was like, “yeah, I’m a yoga instructor.” But I was very, very beginning in my yoga. And then I started working for University of Iowa men’s basketball. So back a long time ago when Coach Steve Alford was here, I was the instructor for men’s basketball. But that also was kind of the start. I was totally underqualified for that, but just quickly learning the body and like certain needs and for athletes learning the need to focus, to learn to clear your mind, if they’re in this game where maybe a guy needs to make free throws to win the game or something, like really important where he can just clear his mind and block everything out and be in the present moment. And so it was just this beautiful journey of starting my passion for yoga back then.

Lauren Lavin:

So you’ve been doing it for a long time, but you’ve also now connected it with recovery and addiction work.

Noelle:

Correct.

Lauren Lavin:

So can you explain how you got into that field?

Noelle:

Yes. I’d love to. So even in college I had an interest in psychology and just the mind. And like I said, it was like a scene in the late ’90s and early 2000s to be straight edge at indie rock shows. And I remember just multiple times thinking… I have a best friend who I’ve learned a lot about addiction from her, she was married to an addict and leaving her marriage and knowing people who struggle with addiction and just finding this like, okay, these passions that I had back in college and in the meantime, I’ve been raising three beautiful girls. So kind of going back to some of my passions, I remember this man saying, “What breaks your heart is your calling?” And that just resonated with me and I didn’t really understand. I’m not an addict and a lot of the people that I work with are, and they’re in recovery and they’re using their pain for a purpose.

And so even this interest of like the mind and how complex our mind is and why do some people fall into addiction or like, why have I? I mean, I’ve never even smoked weed and I’m 46. Why am I feeling called to this? But I think this idea of just learning about the mind and kind of the root cause of let’s figure out why this addiction started because it started for a reason and how can we bring in yoga to that because I fully believe that addiction… There’s actually one of my favorite, I call him my hero. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of him. He’s leading renowned trauma expert. He’s a Hungarian physician and I read his book In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts and he says, “What is the pain?” Not like, “What is the addiction?” And that too, I’m like, okay, how can I bring my yoga, 22 years of teaching yoga into this because I’ve always had this, it feels weird to say, I’ve had this interest in addiction, but I guess I kind of have.

Even going back in time, my best friend used to tease me in junior high. I actually liked that show Cops, if anyone remembers that, but realizing even in seventh or eighth grade, like, okay, a lot of this crime is because of addiction. What could we do to prevent this from happening? And again, this criminalizing addicts, when are we really getting to the root cause and healing that and working through that? Are we focusing on just this punishment side and kind of this, let’s restore some humanity. So I think going back to like what breaks your heart, it was just this kind of intrigue in a way of knowing your addiction started for a reason, right? Addicts are getting something out of that. By the way, I am sensitive to… this is substance use disorder, is truly the best way to say it.

However, the people that I work with choose… Almost everyone will decide to say I’m an addict or addiction. Which I think there’s some humility in that. So I do want to give that little precursor. I’m using that term because that’s the people that I work with, the people that I teach yoga to, they choose to say that. And if they’re going through the 12 steps, that’s an important part of just humility and recognizing. And even in saying that, I’m like, this is where yoga comes along to that humility aspect of letting go of ego and finding community.

So I really feel that later in life I needed some more strength to be able to step into this field and I am very beginning in it, but I feel like just being around and listening and observing and hearing stories and I’m just learning so much. And again, I’m not at all an expert. I’m a yoga teacher, but I have learned a lot from those things, listening and observing and it’s going back to my original kind of interests and passions of the mind and the body and the need to connect that and how within addiction there’s been a disconnect. So what are some holistic ways when there’s definitely this need for medical treatment too, but what are some holistic ways that we can start to bring that back in?

Lauren Lavin:

I mean, all of yoga is that connection between mind and body and if something or creates disconnect between that. Yoga can step in to work to heal it. And I also really love that whatever breaks your heart is your calling.

Noelle:

Yes.

Lauren Lavin:

That’s great. You know when you hear things and you’re like, “Yeah, that’s going to stick with me.” That’s going to stick with me.

Noelle:

And I don’t even know where I heard that, but it did stick with me. Yes.

Lauren Lavin:

So now you teach recovery yoga in Iowa City. How did that come to be? And can you kind of give our listeners a description of it?

Noelle:

Absolutely. So it first started, like I said, I’ve taught so much yoga, but then coming to the stage in life where I wanted to incorporate, I believe yoga is for anyone and we have a lot of yoga in Iowa City. We’re fortunate, but sometimes if someone goes to a studio and they’ve had really hard things in life or they have physical limitations, it’s hard to just step into, quote, a regular yoga class. So I’ve always had just a heart to be able to adapt to any level, any need and I’m really passionate about that. And again, in this, starting to go back to my interests, for lack of a better word, of addiction and why did this addiction start? It was like, I just knew this needed to come together. So I first started in continuing my yoga education, so I became a trauma informed yoga instructor and then after that, there’s a program called the 12 Steps for Yoga.

So a lot of that has specific poses to go along with each step. So the 12 steps, of course it’s AA, which has been around since, now I’m forgetting if it’s, I believe, either 1937 or 1938 or ’39.

Lauren Lavin:

Still [inaudible 00:13:16] longer than I thought. Yeah.

Noelle:

Yes. And it’s amazing that those programs are still around and there’s NA. I started to just learn about that and then chose to serve a term in AmeriCorps. So that was when. AmeriCorps, part of it is looking at your community. So I love Iowa City. By the way, in between there, I lived in Maryland, taught at University of Maryland for the men’s wrestling team. Wrestlers are amazing, by the way. Talk about good yoga students. Those men were so strong, so flexible, so disciplined and respectful. They were amazing, taught some for University of Maryland women’s basketball, in between studios there. And then taught some in Illinois and then coming back here, just thinking more for my career as my girls are getting older and kind of this vision of in our community, we are so fortunate.

We have an amazing hospital. We have amazing healthcare here. And that’s actually one of the things that brought me back too. My youngest has type one diabetes and celiac and just knowing the healthcare that’s available here, but recognizing this kind of gap. So in trauma informed, I read The Body Keeps a Score, which I recommend to everybody. It’s such a good book and recognizing things in my own life too of just like, yeah, your body keeps so much in and how sometimes I think we need this mesh of looking at the whole being and again, this totally aligns with yoga.

And so in AmeriCorps I did some food pantry work and then started this free addiction recovery yoga class open to anyone in the public and started teaching some free private lessons because it’s service hours. So I was serving, but also truly learning.

I mean, I love to tell people that even in my technical training, which is quite beginning in the addiction field, I learned so much more by being with people who are going through this journey, who have struggled, who have relapsed, they’re the best teachers.

Lauren Lavin:

I love that. So many people might think that yoga belongs in like gyms or studios, that type of thing, and not necessarily in a treatment space. So what does yoga look like in a place like CFR or in a recovery space?

Noelle:

Yes. It’s not your typical yoga class. So CFR is here in Iowa City. It’s community and family resources and CFR also has several locations around the state. It’s phenomenal and so needed in our community. So after serving AmeriCorps, there was a gentleman who was coming to my free public classes, which are still going on every Tuesday night. We’ll get to that. And he was a peer recovery coach and he was like, I really think that treatment… There’s just men at the Iowa City location in treatment. So they have outpatient and inpatient, they’re residential men, so they’re living there and he said, “I think that they could benefit greatly.” And he just did a phenomenal job kind of presenting it to the regional director who presented it to others. And so Mondays and Wednesdays I do back to back classes there and, in terms of describing the class, I’m a firm, firm believer in first just creating the environment.

It’s so important for anyone, but especially those who’ve had trauma in their life and if they’re inpatient, receiving treatment, there’s been some pain. There’s been some trauma. So the most important thing for me is to just let them know that they’re in a safe spot because I don’t believe you can progress in healing when you don’t feel safe. So there’s a room I take the men to, it’s actually in the outpatient part and I try to have low lighting and bring in a salt lamp and some Christmas lights and have relaxing music on and first just remind them that this is a non-judgmental environment. I’m no greater than you all and in trauma informed, it’s really important to be very inclusive. So I do everything with them. I’m not walking around and telling them what to do or checking their form, though I’m always giving verbal cues.

So in terms of it looking different than a gym, we use some of the same foundational poses, but there are days when a man might be detoxing or having withdrawal symptoms or he’s receiving methadone or some medication and sometimes it feels like they’re just almost having to mess with the doses to figure out what’s right. So he might feel like complete crap. And so I always tell them, “Do what’s right for you. I want to meet you right now at this present moment right where you’re at. And if you feel like you just have to lie on your mat today, it’s okay.”

And the cool thing is, for that class, men have voiced this a lot. It’s this beautiful environment where they don’t have to hide. I already know they’re an addict and that’s very important and I think they’ve been used to hiding or if they went to another yoga class, it’s almost like they’re carrying this weight of trying to hide that or trying to fit in and it’s like, it’s open there because you’re here.

So I know and everybody around you knows. So I think there’s some freedom in that and I think because of that, they can also progress at a quicker rate of just stretching and breathing and getting in tune with their body. It’s empowering and it’s freeing.

Lauren Lavin:

Yeah. It’s hard to do that if you’re tense. So if you feel like you’re carrying things or you’re kind of struggling with something internally, it’s hard to find that release otherwise. So knowing that they can just show up and be, that’s pretty powerful.

Noelle:

That’s right. So important.

Lauren Lavin:

You said that probably a lot of these men hadn’t practiced yoga prior to meeting you or being in this facility. How do they respond when they encounter yoga first and what changes do you notice as they continue it over time?

Noelle:

Yes. Okay. I love this question so much and I’m actually, if it’s okay, I’m going to answer this question with a story of a gentleman at CFR so I will not reveal any names or anything. So he came from serving time, which, that’s pretty frequent there. And I also tell the guys, in trauma informed, it’s really important to have choices. So I also tell them, “You don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t even have to tell me your addiction. I want this time to be for you. Just like rest if you need to rest, pause and breathe.” And I think that also is freeing for them because they are having to, and they need to face things straight on. But also to have this time in their day when it’s like you don’t have to open to me.

Lauren Lavin:

Yeah, you’re not being asked to do that.

Noelle:

Yeah. So this one man though, I was pretty sure just based on his physical appearance, I’ve started to learn a lot more about that. He had a lot of teeth missing. He was bald and short and he had really quite big muscles and covered in scary tattoos. So he was the kind that, there’s so much stigma. There are times… I mean, Lauren, some of the men who come and I can never imagine he was an addict. Like, how are you an addict? And then there are other people who come in and you’re like, “Oh, this has taken such a toll on your body.” And he was one of those people who, if I had my three girls with, I hate admitting this, but I’d probably be like, “Ooh, let’s walk the other direction.” And that’s something I personally… or when you see people downtown, I want to have a soft heart and not be judgmental towards those people and there’s so much stigma still and I find it within myself.

So this man, he came in, I call it the yoga room. Again, it’s multipurpose, but when we’re in there, it’s a yoga studio, it’s the yoga room. So he comes in, I will not say the word, but he said, “I’m not effing doing yoga.” And I was like, “Hey, welcome. I’m Noelle.”

Lauren Lavin:

Glad you’re here.

Noelle:

And I was like, “You know what? If you don’t want to do yoga, that’s actually okay. But I do ask you to try and do some of the breathing with us.” And this man, I’ll forever just remember this man, so by the second class, he came in and he’s like, “My mind is always racing.” And that’s very common by the way. I mean, I could talk about that more. I think before addiction too, there are certain patterns, both from listening to experts and watching, that I’ve observed.

And truthfully, I think this man is probably brilliant and even from early childhood got lost in his mind a lot. He just has a really active mind. And he said, “At night, I can’t sleep.” And he said, “But I heard your voice telling me to close my eyes and take a deep breath in and exhale.” And I was kind of like, “Oh, whoa, I wasn’t expecting that.” And then as we progressed in his 28 days, he just had this transformation. He’d be the first one in or he’d be carrying yoga mats for other guys or he’d be like, “I’ll help you pick up the yoga mats.” I’m like, “Oh my goodness.” It was like this wall that he had… because he almost had this aura of tough and hard. And then I will forever remember this too. I like to bring in eye masks for them.

And again, it’s always optional because what for one person might be amazing, for another person, it could be a trigger. And so I try to be very sensitive in that and the eye masks have just a little bit of essential oil and I cannot tell you how many times guys will like smell this and they’ll just be like, “What is that? Is it lavender? Is it eucalyptus?” And these discussions about essential oils of these men in treatment and a lot of whom have come to jail, but this specific man told me too, I’ve heard two men say this, it’s almost like they’re sensory deprived when they have come from serving time. So they almost feel, it sounds like a strange word to use, but innocent in that moment to me, and this is what I feel in the medical community too and in policymakers to remember, these are human lives, they have feelings, their life is worthy to receive support and care and love and the discussions of just like essential oils are like, “Noelle, did you bring the eye masks?” It’s amazing.

And this man that I was talking about who said he wasn’t effing going to do yoga, he’s like, “Every time I go to jail, I buy an eye mask.” And I’m like, what? I’m learning a lot about jail and he’s like, “You know, they don’t turn the lights off.” And I was like, “They don’t? I didn’t know that.” So I’m like, “So at night, when you’re trying to sleep, there’s lights on?” He’s like, “Yeah.” So he said they have this… oh, now I’m forgetting the word. They have a store where you can buy eye masks to help you sleep at night.

I was like, “I had no idea.” So by the time his 28 days was up, he was leaving and his counselor was walking him out. I’m pretty sure he had to go serve more time and he asked his counselor, “Can I say bye to my yoga teacher?” I was like, “Yes.” And then he said, “Am I allowed to give you a hug?” And I was like, “Yes, you can give me a hug.

I’m going to get choked up talking about it. And he just started crying. He hugged me and he just started crying and then he whispered, “I’m so scared.” And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is it. This is like a breakthrough. You’re being honest, you’re being real, you’re being vulnerable. And to know that and admit that, it just was this beautiful. I was like, this is what I wish people could come witness, this beautiful moment of connection and that’s what is so needed. Connection. Because addiction isolates and we need to come alongside and we need to come alongside the medical community and help form connection.

And I will like forever remember that man and even in things he said that apply to my own life of just like, I know what it’s like. I’m not an addict. I know what it’s like to be scared, but to also know that feeling of there could be better things coming, but it’s going to take time and work and support. So that was a really long answer, but there are so many examples and there’s so many stories.

I mean my dream one day, I’m like, I want to write a book because these men, their stories need to be heard and their stories can help others.

Lauren Lavin:

And they matter.

Noelle:

They matter.

Lauren Lavin:

And like you said, they are real human beings that maybe appreciate some of the softer things in life that we wouldn’t normally associate with. And maybe that they’re not even used to because they don’t think they deserve it.

Noelle:

You are so right about that. Absolutely.

Lauren Lavin:

Yeah, that was a great story. I’m glad that you could share that.

Okay. So we’re going to end there this week and that’s it for part one of our conversation. A big thank you to Noelle for joining us and for sharing her work with such honesty and heart. In this episode, we covered how her journey led to her teaching trauma-informed yoga, what recovery yoga looks like in practice and why creating a safe judgment-free space is essential for healing.

Next week in part two, we will continue exploring the connection between yoga and addiction recovery, including the long-term impact she witnesses and the lessons we can take into our own communities. This episode was hosted and written by Lauren Lavin and [inaudible 00:27:06] produced by Lauren Lavin. You can learn more about the University of Iowa College of Public Health on Facebook. Our podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and SoundCloud.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your colleagues, friends, or anyone interested in public health. Have a suggestion for our team, you can reach us at cph-gradambassador@uiowa.edu. This episode is brought to you by the University of Iowa College of Public Health. Until next week, stay healthy, stay curious, and take care.